There’s been nothing to do for the last 18 days that we’ve been in Kuwait. We’ve done anything we can think of to make the time pass, but there’s been little success. Fortunately, MWR has kept us busy at least a few nights each week.

When I’ve talked about it on the phone, I’ve been made fun of because it sounds like I’m at a summer camp. I’ve realized that is a pretty accurate assessment of the time we’ve spent here in Kuwait. There have been some interesting experiences with the MWR events, so I thought I’d take the time to do a little recap, and hopefully provide a little humor in the fact that we’re a bunch of overgrown children. Without further ado, Summer Camp Part I - Unit Feud

I’m sure most of you remember the television game show "Family Feud." If not, here’s a brief explanation. Teams of five members all from the same family competed against each other to try to score 300 points. The first member of each team goes up to a podium, and the host asks a question like, "Name something you do at the breakfast table." 100 people were surveyed before the show, and the answers are hidden on the board.

The first one to buzz in answers first. Whichever team guesses the most often chosen response gets to decide whether to pass or play. The team that plays goes in order guessing, until they either have three strikes, or guess all of the answers on the board. If they get three strikes, the other team has a chance to steal with one answer. If they guess anything left on the board, they win the points.

Unit Feud was almost the exact same as Family Feud, only instead of being from the same family, we were from the same unit. I was on a team with a bunch of guys from Midland: Rodriguez, Dodd, Evans, and Trammell.

In Unit Feud, each round is worth 100 points regardless of how many answers are guessed. It just comes down to which team wins three rounds first.

In our first game, we quickly took a 1-0 lead, but then lost the next game to even it at 1. I was the third contestant on my team, so round three was the one when I went to the podium to try to guess the highest answer. The question: "Name something people try to fix themselves."

I buzzed in first.

Me: Their car

Host: Number one answer!

See how easy that was? We decided to play, and somehow, didn’t get a single one right after that. The other team stole and was up 2-1. Our backs were to the wall, but we weren’t going down without a fight.

We won the next two games to take the match in 5 and advance on to the semi-finals. I would go into more detail, but it all happened so fast, I don’t remember much of the first round.

In round two we again won the first game and lost the second, and it was my turn to face-off against the opposing team’s third player. The question: "Name something people do on an airplane."

I again buzzed in first.

Me: Sleep.

Host: Number one answer!

We decided to play, only this time we won. The answers that I can remember us getting were, eat/drink, talk, and read. The only one that neither team guessed was chew gum, but we still got the points because they were wrong on their attempt to steal.

Round 4 was a disaster, but we came up big in the clutch again in round 5 to move on to the finals. What team would we face? TMC (Troop Medical Clinic)

We had just defeated another TMC team in the semis, so our confidence was pretty high. Little did we know the advantage they would have in crunch time.

Again, the first two games were split 1-1 and it was my turn for the face-off. The question: "Name something that has a lobby."

The girl I was going against buzzed in first and said, "an office building." The host told her she had to be more specific, and she came up with the brilliant response of, "a lawyer’s office." EEEEH! Wrong, not even on the board. It was my chance to steal.

I looked at the host and calmly said, "Hotel...number one answer," and turned around and walked back to my chair before he even acknowledged that I was correct. Sure enough, I was, and he questioned whether I had x-ray vision and could see through the card. Yeah, it was a cocky thing to do, but I knew I was right, and it gave us an edge in the intimidation factor. Oh what, you can’t even get one that’s on the board? Well I got the number one answer without even breaking a sweat. That’s right, be intimidated.

We decided to pass that one since playing hadn’t worked well for us so far. Bad idea. They got all but one, and I can’t even remember what we tried to steal with, but it wasn’t on the board, and it gave them a 2-1 lead. Once again our backs were to the wall, but we knew we’d been there before.

The next question was, "Name the worst kind of movie to see on a first date." Dodd got the higher of the two answers, and we again decided to pass. Could’ve been a bad idea, but we were sticking to our new strategy.

They guessed all but the number one answer, and we had a chance to steal. Before I go any further, let me just say that I was somewhat disturbed by the answers given. Romantic movies were ranked the third worst to see on a first date. What was the fourth you might ask? Porn. Out of 100 Americans surveyed, more would rather watch porn on a first date than a romantic movie. Could this be why the divorce rate in America is so high?

Anyway, the only genres we could even think of that were left were comedies and action movies. The obvious choice was action movies, and sure enough, it was the number one answer. We stole that round and were still alive heading into the decisive round five.

The question: "Name a part of the body that you would wrap."

Great, we’re playing a bunch of medics and they ask a medical question in the decisive round. That’s like asking us to name a professional sports team in Texas.

They got the number one answer and chose to play. Somehow, the idiots guessed ribs and head, both not on the board giving them two strikes. They had already guessed every answer but one, and we had already decided that our answer to steal was going to be hands. We just needed them to miss on their next guess.

The last medic answers, "your finger." The judges got together and we knew what was going on. At that very moment, we knew without a doubt that the last answer was hand, and they were debating whether or not to give them credit for guessing finger. They turned to us and said, "that counts!" And the medics won.

Are you kidding me? Now fingers and hands are the same thing? If I were to wrap my toes, is that the same as wrapping my foot? Can’t you cut off all of your fingers and still have a hand? Don’t try that, I’ll just tell you that the answer is a resounding YES. We were sick. How could we lose on such a ridiculous decision?

The worst part? Everyone that played was given a $10 gift card, but the winners got $25. So, we figured second place would get at least $15, if not $20. Nope, $10, just like all of the other losers.

I’m still angry about that decision. How can anyone say that wrapping your finger is the same as wrapping your hand? If I had said ankle, would they have given me hamstring? It’s an extension of my leg, why not? Unbelievable.

On a lighter note, we had a lot of fun just watching the other teams go against each other. There was one team of five women that pretty much everyone in the room wanted to kill by the time their game was over. They were so annoying. One kept saying, "time, time, time" any time someone took a second to say their answer. Then they argued anything and everything.

During a face-off, the opposing player buzzed in before the question was over because she knew the answer before hearing the whole question. When she got the number one answer, one of the annoying ladies says, "Timeout! Don’t she have to wait for the question to finish before she answer?" The host said no, and she argued for a few more minutes. Everyone in the audience chose this point to boo her like crazy, and then every time she had to do anything the rest of the game we were all booing. It was quite the spectacle.

It was like a talk show where the crowd is booing a guest and the guest gets all defensive and says something to the effect of, "You don’t know, you don’t know nothin’ bout what’s going on here." She was even doing the finger wave at us. Without a doubt, my favorite part of the night.

After they lost, they kept arguing the answers and everyone was booing insanely loud at this point, and the entire time they’re heading for the exit door. As they’re walking out, one chooses to turn off the lights in one final act of immaturity. Classy ladies. Not that we were being much more mature, but it was funny nonetheless.

So that’s Unit Feud. Tomorrow’s episode: Summer Camp Part II - Kickball

I haven’t posted anything but updates for the last few months, but now that I’m bored and have literally nothing else to do, I think it’s a good opportunity to write a column. I have a feeling there may be quite a few of these in the next few days.

I got a MySpace bulletin today that caught my eye. It was a petition to delete a group that someone had created called "F— the troops." It’s ridiculous that I’m actually going to write about this, but that’s how bored I am. The fact that I see a number of things wrong with both sides of this issue makes it an easy topic.

First of all, the person that created this group probably did it just to get a reaction out of people. Congratulations, you’ve achieved your goal in life. It’s pretty childish for people to get so worked up over someone/something so stupid, but I can understand why they do.

I just don’t see how anyone could actually feel this way. Who doesn’t know someone that either has served, or is serving in the military? Of those people, how many literally hate the troops? It’s about as ignorant of a statement as when someone says, "I hate Americans." Yeah, a lot of Americans have the same qualities that people don’t like, but should you say you hate all Americans because of these people?

Now that I’ve established just how stupid this whole topic is, I’ll explain why I think it’s something worth writing about. We’re not over here picking and choosing which freedoms to fight for. If we can defend someone’s write to say "support the troops," we must also defend their right to say, "f— the troops," despite what we think of the people who say such stupid things.

They’re contradicting themselves when they say such a stupid thing because without the troops, they wouldn’t have the freedom to make idiots out of themselves with their words. But, they do, and no amount of disdain for their actions can change that.

I’ve thought of a few examples that I think compare. One that I personally experienced was the trial of an Afghan man who was facing a death sentence for rejecting Islam. On the surface, it’s sickening. I would bet that any sensible American is disgusted by such a thing. However, if the American government had stepped in to stop the trial, would we really be fighting for Afghans to have their freedom?

The Afghan people like the law. The ones I spoke with didn’t want the man to be killed, but they didn’t think he should go unpunished either. Most said they just hoped he would convert back to Islam. We ousted the Taliban so that the people of Afghanistan could have a voice. They have that voice now, and it’s not our place to step in and tell them what to do.

The end result was what I think was in both sides best interest. The man facing the charge was given asylum in Italy, where he now lives as a Christian. Afghanistan got their way, in that it truly remains the Islamic Republic of Afghanistan (it’s official name), and the converted man wasn’t killed for asserting his right to choose his own religion. In an ideal world, he would’ve been allowed to stay, but that’s not what the people of Afghanistan wanted.

Another example is flag burning. Until recently, I had my mind made up that it should be completely outlawed. It’s a ridiculous act that contradicts the message flag burners are trying to send. They’re using freedom to speak out against a government that gives them that freedom. Personally, I look at the flag as a symbol of freedom, and after the last year, I’d do anything to defend it. No one will ever get away with burning a flag in front of me, but I’m not sure it should be outlawed.

The only difference I see in flag burning and speaking out against the troops is that flag burning isn’t sending a specific message. You could say the same thing without actually burning a flag. It’s an action, not true speech. That’s what I take issue with. If you want to speak out against the government, go ahead, but don’t disrespect the troops who’ve fought for that flag.

So, where do I stand on all of this? I don’t really know that there is a solution that would make me happy. I guess the one thing I’d like to see is for flag burning to stay legal, but for no one to ever do it. If people start doing it all the time, I’ll probably switch back to wanting to see it outlawed because of what I think it represents. Burning a cross isn’t legal because it’s hate speech. Isn’t that similar to burning a flag?

I say all of this to say, I didn’t sign the petition to have the group removed for a few different reasons. First, I don’t think it’s worth the trouble. It just gives the idiot that created the group that much more satisfaction in knowing that they got under people’s skin.

Second, I don’t believe in limiting free speech to only things that I agree with. I can’t stand listening every time Nancy Pelosi opens her stupid mouth, but I’m not going to do anything to keep her from talking. If we allow people to say they support the troops, we have to also allow people to say they don’t, as distasteful as that might be.

That all said, I’d love for someone to try to say something like that to me. I’d get some serious satisfaction out of punching them in the throat. Go ahead, say I’m contradicting myself. I know I am. That’s just how I feel. If you want to abuse your right to free speech by insulting me and all of the men and women I’ve served with, I’m going to abuse my right to go to jail for punching you in the throat. Should there be consequences for my actions? Of course. Should/Would the judge be more lenient on me than someone who got in a fight because they didn’t like the way someone looked at their girl? I'd like to think so.

Alright, now that I'm a little better rested, and I'm getting a little more used to being in this stupid country, I'll write some more.

Kuwait is quite possibly the worst inhabitable place on earth.  I'd imagine Antarctica might be worse, but no one really lives there, at least no one with brain cells remaining.  The winter months here aren't that bad, but I've been here for two months out of the last year, and they just so happen to be August '05 and July '06. 

The sandstorms are insane.  Sometimes you can't see more than a few feet in front of you, and sometimes the wind blows so hard that it literally hurts to be pelted with sand.  That was the case today.  It actually didn't seem that hot, but oh yeah, that was because there was so much sand in the air that it was blocking a lot of the sun.

We ran five miles this morning.  It's quite possibly the longest run I've ever been on.  Ever tried running on sand?  It's not fun.  It must not be possible for calves (the muscle, not the small cow) to explode, or else it would've happened this morning.

Then in formation, they asked us to donate money for a celebration when we get back to our respective home stations.  Seeing as I'm the only one going back to Houston, there will be on celebration.  However, the incintive to donate was that those who did wouldn't have to run this coming Monday and Wednesday.  I couldn't get my wallet out fast enough.

Now we're down to five more runs while we here, so I think I can handle that.  I definitely need some recovery time, but I'm hoping they'll ask for donations again for next Friday's run.  However, now that I've gotten all of that out of my system, I will say that I'm in a surprisingly good mood.  Shocker, right?

Oh wait, that's because I'm going home in less than three weeks.  Oh yeah, and my mom got a call from the people in Mesquite today, giving her information about our homecoming, and how friends and family can be a part of it.

Then, I found out that Em sent my final package, and her mom baked our unit five pans of brownies that are now in route.

The running could've been worse.  It could've been in Kabul.  At least the air here isn't that bad.  I actually wasn't having a hard time with the breathing, it was the calve explosions that had me worried.

We haven't had to do much since we've been here, which is a nice transition back to college life.  Some people will probably have a hard time adjusting to being a civilian again, but I know I won't.  I've just never had much of a problem distinguishing my military life from my college life.

We don't have to carry around our weapons, or wear our flak vests, which is especially nice because it gives my back a little time to heal from a nagging pain.

I ate pizza for lunch, Nathan's corn dogs for dinner, and I won the weekly poker tournament tonight.  I really wanted to win because they make a big deal here about "representing for the 820th."  We had about 10 of the 40 guys in the tournament, but when it was down to the final 10 I was the only one left.  I got a $50 gift card, which is nice because that's just more to save for a big screen tv/couch/bed, whichever I can find the better deal on at the PX on Fort Hood.

Anyway, we have a kickball tournament tomorrow, and I haven't played kickball since about the third grade, so I'm pretty excited about that.  Isn't it nice to know that our men and women in uniform are working so hard over here?  Actually, we have in the past, but it's nice to have some down time now that it's almost over.

I also got my cell phone working here, which means for the first time since last August, I can actually receive telephone calls.  It was awesome when I picked up the phone yesterday and realized that Em was calling me.

That's really about all for now.  I'll try to post some more updates soon, but there's really not much to tell since we're not doing much of anything.  Any questions, I'd love to answer them.  See you guys soon,

Dave

I don't have the energy to write much of an update, but I wanted to let everyone know that I'm back in Kuwait.  We took our last military flight today.  The next time I step on a plane will be at the end of this month, and it'll be to head home.

It's so nice to be out of the daily stresses of Afghanistan.  We were able to turn in our weapons when we got here, I haven't had to wear my flak vest, and I'm wearing civilian clothes right now.  It's somewhat of a gradual way to phase back into normal life.  Just a few more weeks.

And then there were five.  Weeks.  I still don't have a definitive date for the exact time we'll be flying home, but the date we all keep hearing is now less than five weeks away.

There hasn't been anything going on because we've just been getting ready to leave Kabul.  It turns out we won't be going to Qatar now, so it's off to Bagram within the next week, and after the change of command ceremony we'll be heading to Kuwait for about three weeks.

I've mailed home almost everything that I won't need in the next month.  I'm going to finish packing everything else that I can tonight.  We've started out-processing, which is basically a long process of going to about 13 different places on the compound and having them clear you to leave Kabul.  I'm down to three, and I should be able to finish those tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, it will be my last bazaar and poker tournament.  It's finally starting to set in that we're close to leaving, but I don't want to get too excited until we're on a plane heading home.

I usually try not to do this, but I'm going to gloat.  Em got me the perfect coming home present ... Astros tickets.  And not just any Astros tickets.  Tickets to see them play the Cardinals in the final home series of the season, which means it will probably be packed because it should be a really important game.

She also bought them for a Friday night so that I wouldn't have to miss the Baylor football game on Saturday, and she got club seats.  I've never sat in the club section, and with the exception of the Diamond Level seats that you have to be someone like a former president to get, I think those are the only seats I've never been in at Minute Maid Park.  As if coming home wasn't enough, I just keep getting more and more things to look forward to. 

That's all I have for now.  Like I said, there's not a lot going on.  Just counting down the days.  It's hard to believe that 14 months have past and I'm down to just one more.  I feel like everything's going so well right now.  It's scary to think that it's just going to get better in another month.

One more thing.  Yesterday, we took a couple of group pictures yesterday.  Here they are: